Given my profession, I’m not a huge fan of pop psychology. The term “narcissist” has been thrown around all too often on social media. There needs to be definitive clarification around this topic because we ALL have narcissistic tendencies for self-preservation purposes.
Nevertheless, this reel hit me hard because it exemplifies the true nature of this diagnosis and associated behavioral patterns. I’d like to provide my professional perspective on narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) for anyone who may resonate with this topic.
What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?
NPD is defined as comprising a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by the presence of at least 5 of the following 9 criteria:
- A grandiose sense of self-importance
- A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
- A belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
- A need for excessive admiration
- A sense of entitlement
- Interpersonally exploitive behavior
- A lack of empathy
- Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her
- A demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes
How does Narcissistic Personality Disorder affect significant others?
The cycle of narcissistic abuse begins with IDEALIZATION (love bombing in new relationships and breadcrumbs in long-term partnerships), followed by DEVALUATION (tension building, walking on eggshells, and gaslighting), culminating in ABANDONMENT (cold shoulder treatment or threats to end the relationship).
This cycle continues over and over, thereby, causing anyone on the receiving end to develop a rush of dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin each time they reenter the idealization phase. However, these periods of hope typically culminate in crushing disappointment. This pattern fosters extreme confusion, poor self-esteem, anxiety, fear, and isolation.
People with NPD weaponize seemingly insignificant topics, leaving their significant other(s) feeling manipulated, gaslit, invalidated, and questioning their sanity. Essentially, one’s sense of identity, reality, and self-worth can become significantly eroded by the narcissist’s behavior.
Can Someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder Recover?
Only 2-16% of people with NPD are willing to seek help from a mental health professional (Smith, 2021). When samples of patients have been followed, the categorical diagnosis of NPD has been associated with a 63%–64% drop-out rate from psychotherapy (Gamache, Savard, Lemelin, et al., 2018).
Treatment can be challenging because people with this condition are often unwilling to believe that they have a problem (Pickering, 2024). Of the 2-16% of individuals who seek treatment, only 53% demonstrated remission over a 2-year period (Vater, Ritter, Strunz, et al., 2014).
Moreover, people who exhibit remission from clinical NPD can still score highly on narcissism as a trait and may still engage in manipulative or abusive behavior (Vater, Ritter, Strunz, et al., 2014). This is likely due to a lack of self-awareness, maladaptive defense mechanisms, fear of vulnerability, and perception of superiority. In short, the prognosis for NPD is unfavorable, and the condition is typically lifelong (Ambardar, 2023).
How does Narcissistic Personality Disorder Develop?
Studies show that parenting styles such as overvaluation, lack of warmth, overindulgence, lenient discipline, co-signing maladaptive behavioral makers, enabling, parentification, bullying, childhood abuse, and neglect contribute to the development of NPD (Akhtar, 1992).
A person with NPD is akin to a paper tiger.
Underneath all the blatant bullying and hubris lives a terrified, traumatized, and deeply wounded child. Their presentation and internal processes are wildly incongruent. While their actions demonstrate the impression of superiority, they maintain a sense of rabid insecurity and inadequacy. Sadly, they may never acknowledge or admit this truth.
If this sounds like something you’re dealing with, do not hesitate to reach out for resources! While NPD is a life-long condition, it is likely the survivor can recover from narcissistic abuse within 1-2 years. Do not lose hope! Help is available for you.
Meet The Author
LAUREN BAKER
MS, LPC, NCC
Meet The Author
Lauren is a Clinical Therapist at Sea Glass Mental Health. She works with teens, adults and couples. Lauren specializes in codependency, trauma, domestic violence, anxiety, and perfectionism.
